My life in retrospect

We live our lives. We say we are bored. We want to do so much. We end up doing nothing. This conundrum is tearing me apart. My life means nothing but someone put theses ideas into my head that I have a soul. Maybe it's my soul that is thrashing around inside. Science doesn't seem to have a place here. The pieces are chinese to me. I can't read them, I can't put them together. I search for an impossible pattern. But ultimately I'll fail. I'm a failure for not even trying. Life is a black pond. I'm just waiting for a heavy downpour so that I might escape into a stream. A stream that leads into brackish water on the way to an endless ocean of opportunity. Someday, i'll see the sun set on the west coast. And her golden hair will blow in my face, without a doubt ill be happier than I ever was. My life, in retrospect.