The perks of being a wallflower..

We all possess some sort of introverted characteristics that define our personality. Mine have seemed to converge and give birth to many traits. I feel as if the more introverted I am the more hostile and sensitive I become. For instance, I hold in problems I seem to be faced with, facades or not, these edifices cause interference getting across my true emotions and I come across as bitter. I have this inability to continue in a relationship for too long. Every time its different reasons but never have I failed to escape a relationship without a valid cause. Looking back I find that my motivations were fabricated and highly superficial, but I wonder if this rift in my character is fueled by a supernatural intuition of sorts, allowing me to see through lost causes and my true soul mate is waiting for me. Most likely I'm doomed to drown in my mess of bodies I have decapitated and the collected memories I have as keepsakes to look back on when I'm drunk and lonely. I'm still searching for the answers and still finding myself to be more and more inadequate. I wonder what it is like inside someone else's head? Mines a mess. A super congested highway, with out a grid, and more accidents than a two year old and a bowl of spaghetti. The perks of being a wallflower I guess.

My life in retrospect

We live our lives. We say we are bored. We want to do so much. We end up doing nothing. This conundrum is tearing me apart. My life means nothing but someone put theses ideas into my head that I have a soul. Maybe it's my soul that is thrashing around inside. Science doesn't seem to have a place here. The pieces are chinese to me. I can't read them, I can't put them together. I search for an impossible pattern. But ultimately I'll fail. I'm a failure for not even trying. Life is a black pond. I'm just waiting for a heavy downpour so that I might escape into a stream. A stream that leads into brackish water on the way to an endless ocean of opportunity. Someday, i'll see the sun set on the west coast. And her golden hair will blow in my face, without a doubt ill be happier than I ever was. My life, in retrospect.