90+90 degrees and 45 miles per hour

Through the mundanity that we are all forced to endure, the tiresome and routine activities such as sitting through traffic while driving the same route to work, completing necessary cleaning throughout our homes, and managing to supply sustenance to our bodies just so we can do it all over again, I find all too easy to question and confront the reasons why we live in such a repetitive manner.

When the grind has worn me out, my drawer of yesteryear's love is begging for a long overdue cleaning, and I surmise that it may be some time until I find a change in the system, the outlier I was searching for makes its presence known and the idea of possibilities excites me and pushes me through another countless, tiresome, mundane day.

I seek excitement and variety in my life. I am attracted and facilitated by change. Yet, strangely enough I want one thing opposing my own life's calling. That thing is a glimpse of a view into the future. A future where I stand, not alone, but next to another. A soulmate. A person, I can trust wholeheartedly will be there for me through the best and worst times and someone who I will always be there for no matter what the circumstance.

I see possibility and I worry. I worry that with all the opportunities I have already managed to discard there might not be too many more. My mind tells me to weigh out every choice all too carefully. But my instinctual and newly healed fleshy blood pumper screams, "life is too short to wonder if you should make a choice!"

A fantasy, a dream, or a vision, will always be just that unless you put into action those desires. After all, if you never try you'll never be able to succeed.

Fighting the Good Fight

A late night. Restless in bed I find myself recalling past memories more vividly when on the brink of sleep depravity. Reality and fantasy become one when immersed in the dream world and yet I find it hard to discern the two when completely immersed in the music. My dream, my fantasy, or rather, my fallacious reality is that people will stop giving up so easily. More so, that I will stop giving up so easy.

In our time, we find a way out and we take it. We rationalize our thoughts, tendencies, and troubles until our inner self is satisfied. This rationalization, a dark body of water, if you will, is something in which I have seem to become submerged. The weight is becoming too much and the burden I no longer wish to carry.

All stubbornness aside, as I draw from past experiences, I acknowledge my tendency of heartbreak and if karma must run its cycle then I indeed am being requited only what is fair. However, when does the suffering become too much to keep fighting the good fight? I accept that things and people change but a heart's desire is one of the realest things I have experienced the short while alive on this earth. My attempt is to put aside past faults and accept the person you are and the person I had grown to love so fondly.

Until then, Fight the Good Fight, and never stop trying to reach out to the ones you love. As time may take away the hurt and new love will grow, perhaps even more strongly than before, a fight well fought is a wound in the form of memories that reminds us to hold onto what we love.